Time To Stick It To The Donkeys!

So most you (my loyal followers) know that I love to play poker online. However the same cant be said for playing live, especially in tournaments.

The few live poker tournaments that I have played in have (to be fair) been full of droolers. Granted I'm not exactly playing in a WSOP event but still the quality of play from most of the opposition that I saw should be the equivalent to Usain Bolt racing a stag beetle.

So why haven't I destroyed the local tournaments week in week out and why on earth am I not even trying? Tesco is why!!

Yes you heard, Tesco!

Well maybe not directly, I mean I'm not trading out a game of poker to eat a bowl of Tesco value cornflakes, or sit down to try the free taster foods that funny old woman keeps trying to tempt me with. You see the problem goes deeper than that. Let me start by asking you a question, do you remember when shops used to be shut on Sundays? I may be showing my age a little here but I do, vaguely.

The point is that if you wanted to shop, you had to do it within the opening hours of the shop. Roll on the 21st century, 7/11, 24 hour tesco and more importantly, Internet poker.

I don't want to que up and wait around for everyone to sit down. I don't want to wait for the dealer to finish cutting the cards, because no matter how fast he is, like the abacus vs the Pentium, he's too slow.

I'm so used to playing 4 to 8 tables and seeing 300 - 600 hands per hour that the painstakingly slow, mind numbing idea of only playing around 30 in the same time makes me want to suck my eyes out through a straw.

I don't want to feel this way, really I don't. I'm like an impatient child on a road trip constantly screaming "are we there yet?" except I find myself screaming (in my mind at least) have you dealt yet. So I point the finger of blame to Tesco. It's their fault that if I want to get four beers and a tub of Hagan Das at 3:30am then I expect to be able to get it. It's their fault that I have no patience, they've killed my live tournament poker chances.

But alas I won't let them beat me. That is why I'm going to make a concerted effort to get down to the card room, hang out with the guys, have a drink, enjoy the socialising first and the poker second because after all only geeks get off sitting, playing games on the computer all day, right?

Broker