For those of you poised, waiting to see how far along with the challenge I am, all I have to say is not very far!
"OMG, why?" I hear you scream.
Well let me tell you. Today, my bankroll should be hovering somewhere around the $700 mark, should be.
Whilst trying to think of an excuse to tell you I realised that poker players are a lot like fisherman, their endless bad beat stories remind me of the fisherman's 'the one that got away' story. But sadly I can't even blame my lack of progress on running bad, tempting as it was, I just decided to be honest with you and myself.
I take full responsibility for where I am in this challenge as I allowed myself to be consumed and fell victim to the beast that is tilt. Oh yes, I fell, I fell hard and I fell fast. My ego hasn't hit the ground that hard in a while.
You see I've played six max poker to death, I'm at a stage where I accept bad beats, I accept variance and just get on with things, I mean I'd need a huge down swing to really take me off of my game. But six max isn't where the problem lies.
Now lets talk about heads up poker and lets talk about what it's not. It's not a friendly game between two people, oh no. It's a personal war, it's a fight to the bitter end and I have found it hard not to take the game personally.
This is all fine whilst I'm claiming scalp after scalp, but as soon as I get sucked out on or dare I say out played, I instantly start to feel my heart pounding. Another stack or big pot lost and that's it, I find myself out for blood. I was sat at a NL20 table yesterday with a guy who to be fair was an ok, aggressive player. Normally when I run into anyone who is even half capable, I leave. Not because I'm afraid of playing them but more because we just won't beat the rake at these stakes.
So lets talk about why I'm not up to $700, what exactly happened?
Well a guy sat down to play and as I said, seemed very aggressive. we played about 15 hands and I was just about to leave in search of the real bums that just hand over their money when it happened. I was dealt AKs and open raised from the button, the guy three bet which he had done a few times already. So at this point I decide to four bet and he calls. The flop comes A,5,8 and he checks, I bet, he jams for a a tiny bit more, I snap call and he shows 55 for trips.
That was it, the beast instantly got hold of me and I immediately reloaded, muttering under my breath about what a donkey the guy is, I mean calling with 55, WTF is he going to do unless he hits a set, what a monkey.. blah, blah, blah. Yes I was actually saying that to myself.
The amazing thing is that when I was playing $2/$4 I'd be 3betting pre flop to $38 -$40 and not fussed about folding in the right situations, yet here I am, ready to explode into monkey tilt over losing twenty bucks.
I concluded that the guy was not any good and decided it was defiantly +EV to play him. A few more hands later and I've 3 bet pre flop with 56 suited, he calls. Flop comes down 346. I flop top pair and an open ended straight draw. I c-bet the guy raises and I insta jam. He snap calls with Q6suited and ends up scooping a pot.
By this point I'm past help. I'm in full on, self harm, irrational, monkey spew, tilt monster mode and there's nothing anyone can do except watch me spew off four buy ins. Afterwards I wanted to throw up. A whole weeks worth of work simply undone in an hour.
It's not about the money, it's more about setting myself back in this challenge. I haven't tilted like that in such a long time but then again I've never been a heads up player or involved in the psychological warfare that goes with it.
The lesson here is that tilt is real. It really can and will have a huge effect on your bankroll if you let it. The best thing you can do when you feel consumed by the beast is stop
playing. Now if only I can follow my own advice.
My only saving grace is rake back, as with it I managed to eek out a small profit for the week but nothing like I could have.
Learn from my mistakes as it can happen to the best of us.
Broker
"OMG, why?" I hear you scream.
Well let me tell you. Today, my bankroll should be hovering somewhere around the $700 mark, should be.
Whilst trying to think of an excuse to tell you I realised that poker players are a lot like fisherman, their endless bad beat stories remind me of the fisherman's 'the one that got away' story. But sadly I can't even blame my lack of progress on running bad, tempting as it was, I just decided to be honest with you and myself.
I take full responsibility for where I am in this challenge as I allowed myself to be consumed and fell victim to the beast that is tilt. Oh yes, I fell, I fell hard and I fell fast. My ego hasn't hit the ground that hard in a while.
You see I've played six max poker to death, I'm at a stage where I accept bad beats, I accept variance and just get on with things, I mean I'd need a huge down swing to really take me off of my game. But six max isn't where the problem lies.
Now lets talk about heads up poker and lets talk about what it's not. It's not a friendly game between two people, oh no. It's a personal war, it's a fight to the bitter end and I have found it hard not to take the game personally.
This is all fine whilst I'm claiming scalp after scalp, but as soon as I get sucked out on or dare I say out played, I instantly start to feel my heart pounding. Another stack or big pot lost and that's it, I find myself out for blood. I was sat at a NL20 table yesterday with a guy who to be fair was an ok, aggressive player. Normally when I run into anyone who is even half capable, I leave. Not because I'm afraid of playing them but more because we just won't beat the rake at these stakes.
So lets talk about why I'm not up to $700, what exactly happened?
Well a guy sat down to play and as I said, seemed very aggressive. we played about 15 hands and I was just about to leave in search of the real bums that just hand over their money when it happened. I was dealt AKs and open raised from the button, the guy three bet which he had done a few times already. So at this point I decide to four bet and he calls. The flop comes A,5,8 and he checks, I bet, he jams for a a tiny bit more, I snap call and he shows 55 for trips.
That was it, the beast instantly got hold of me and I immediately reloaded, muttering under my breath about what a donkey the guy is, I mean calling with 55, WTF is he going to do unless he hits a set, what a monkey.. blah, blah, blah. Yes I was actually saying that to myself.
The amazing thing is that when I was playing $2/$4 I'd be 3betting pre flop to $38 -$40 and not fussed about folding in the right situations, yet here I am, ready to explode into monkey tilt over losing twenty bucks.
I concluded that the guy was not any good and decided it was defiantly +EV to play him. A few more hands later and I've 3 bet pre flop with 56 suited, he calls. Flop comes down 346. I flop top pair and an open ended straight draw. I c-bet the guy raises and I insta jam. He snap calls with Q6suited and ends up scooping a pot.
By this point I'm past help. I'm in full on, self harm, irrational, monkey spew, tilt monster mode and there's nothing anyone can do except watch me spew off four buy ins. Afterwards I wanted to throw up. A whole weeks worth of work simply undone in an hour.
It's not about the money, it's more about setting myself back in this challenge. I haven't tilted like that in such a long time but then again I've never been a heads up player or involved in the psychological warfare that goes with it.
The lesson here is that tilt is real. It really can and will have a huge effect on your bankroll if you let it. The best thing you can do when you feel consumed by the beast is stop
playing. Now if only I can follow my own advice.My only saving grace is rake back, as with it I managed to eek out a small profit for the week but nothing like I could have.
Learn from my mistakes as it can happen to the best of us.
Broker
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